Archive | June, 2014

What they don’t tell you about trying to conceive

25 Jun

There comes a time in life where you reach the question: Are we ready for a baby and all that comes with that responsibility? Once that’s decided you think that’s the hard part done. You have listened to your doctor for years every time you get a new prescription for birth control that there is no need to wait once you stop, you’re young and will probably get pregnant first go.

Maybe not all Drs have this approach but mine sure did and it did in no way prepare me for what was to come.

Month 1 – Ok here we go! Huh…hello period.

Month 2 – 3 – Ok these will be the months, just getting those pills out of my system..oh.

Month 4-6 – What the hell is wrong with me, I am broken!

Month 7 – 9 – No that was silly to think I was broken but you know…lets google at what point you should go to the Drs. O your husbands sister is pregnant a month after being big deal. SMILE!

Month 10 – 12 – hello…Period where have you gone? Cant be pregnant the tests are negative…. Time for Husband to get checked…ok he’s all good its just me…great. SMILE.

Month 13 – Drs – Ok we will book you in for LOTS of blood tests because we need to have them at specific dates corresponding to your last period.

Month 14 – Lots of blood tests, nothing really coming back either way, go for a transvaginal scan. O hello possible polytheistic ovaries…lets have a Google about what you are then.

Month 15 – Referral to gynaecologist as Dr has done all they can, they want more blood tests and a new scan.

Month 15 – 19 – No period for this whole time. Given pills to induce a period – Hello ten days of unreasonable unstoppable HUNGER! and random tears. And anger. Thanks hormones! All for nothing as these don’t work.

And that’s everything up to date leaving out all the other questions going through and around your head. From points where it stresses you out, to not even caring any more and planning all the nice things you will have because you will never be able to have children. Then back to stressing.

Through all this you google everything and try different things and wonder how anyone goes through IVF (you’ve looked it up!) if this stage is stressful enough!

But all I can say if you find yourself going through the same process is to not let it get you down all the time. Try and put it out of your mind in the times between appointments and whatever you do do NOT go onto forums for TTC or the such. Those places are so easy to fall into a depression of why me and thinking you are an even bigger failure than possible because you can’t do what other people seemingly do easily. I mean teenagers get pregnant first time all the time don’t they? Forget that! Everyone is different and sometimes things don’t go to plan but that is no reason to give up. Maybe it will still happen but perhaps it wont. All you can do is to keep trying and go to those appointments until you know something for sure.

Through all this, only tell people you know will be supportive. It is beyond unhelpful to have comments about how it just takes time and you’re young and the likes when you know all these things are not true because you have had a glimpse at the side of infertility and troubles. These people mean well so do try not to be pissed at them (Even if they should bugger off and leave you the fuck alone). However if you get the response “well I had no trouble conceiving all 19 of my babies” you have permission to punch said person in their face.


A short break

25 Jun

I apologise for things being so quiet on the home front! I recently had a week away in Krakow which was very nice but meant I got no work done as I concentrated on relaxing and seeing the sights. There may have been some vodka involved as well at some point….

But! Onwards we go and I have a few new bits and bobs in the pipeworks that have been sketched and scanned and are awaiting computer tidying and the likes.

I may do a separate update on another part of life that is happening but will probably not interest people here for the drawings or questionable DIY skills.

So if you have a second to spare check out my etsy which I am keeping running whilst working on a new website, you never know there may be something you would love to have on a wall of your own!



Nothing like a bit of panic!

10 Jun

I recently had a very relaxing weekend. I was happy because I have been working towards having a website up and running to sell prints and other bits from so that I could make the switch from using Etsy which I don’t really get on with for where I am heading. This is manly because once purchasing something people rarely know the shop name or person who has made what they have bought. If asked where something is from a response would typically be “O from Etsy” or “from someone on Etsy” No mention of the creator.

But this leads me to having a few older items still up for sale on Etsy whilst my website gets to a point I am happy with it. I placed that postage would take 1 – 2 weeks which would give me enough time to pick a printer and have it ordered and set up before any print orders came through.

Error. I underestimated that I would actually get a sale and one requesting that it would be needed in a short time frame. Thus ensued a manic midnight purchasing of a large colour printer within budget and inks and paper for delivery on Tuesday. It is now Tuesday and the panic has begun to start as to how big this printer will actually be. I had have to order it to work because I cannot have the day off….I work in London and have a two hour journey home and need to get the printer onto a muchly overcrowded train.

On the plus side, a sale is nothing to be annoyed about and it was my own fault for underestimating people actually wanting to buy my items. Which is a nice thing.

So I shall celebrate instead of feeling bad for spending so much on new business toys and hope that future sales will soon outshine the initial outgoings.

This also sets me up nicely to start thinking what prints I want to take to my craft fair in December.   check out the current prints available

and soon there shall be something based on the idea of a house with a White Picard Fence.


Strange Love

3 Jun

I wanted to draw some ghost cows but they just didn’t look right. So instead I decided to draw a puppy and kitten skeleton based creation and then added a glowing heart. Because why not? Underneath it all things really can be simple. Image